People seem to get married every Saturday, even with the viral statement, “Love is a scam.” One begins to wonder if love is really a scam, as some say. Grand ceremonies and “owambe” parties dominate social media, yet the rate of marriages being dissolved is rising almost as fast as they’re formed, pointing to a deeper issue within society’s approach to marriage.
In the past, marriage in Nigeria was often driven by family pressures and societal expectations. Individuals were expected to settle down not out of personal desire, but to fulfil familial or cultural obligations. This approach, while sometimes restrictive, often instilled a sense of duty and perseverance in relationships. However, in the modern age, marriages are frequently motivated by different desires. Many couples marry with the aim of hosting the most lavish wedding, the kind that garners likes, shares, and admiration on social media. As a result, the focus shifts from building a lifelong partnership to creating a memorable event, leaving many without a deep sense of commitment to the marriage itself.
The rise of divorce in Nigeria is a significant social issue, one that is reshaping family structures. While divorce has traditionally carried a social stigma that discourages open discussion or reporting, it’s becoming more common, particularly in urban areas where modern influences are strongest. In 2023 alone, Lagos State saw nearly 3,000 divorce cases, signalling that marital dissolution is no longer a hidden phenomenon but a reflection of evolving social norms and expectations.
Several factors contribute to the rise in divorce, with common issues including infidelity, domestic violence, and a lack of communication between partners. In a society where marriage is often romanticized, many people enter into it unprepared for the realities that come with it. There is often a lack of understanding about the commitment, patience, and resilience that marriage requires. Furthermore, financial security has become a significant reason behind some marriages. When the financial benefit or stability of the marriage fades, so does the foundation of the relationship, leading many to seek divorce as an escape.
Marriage today requires more than love and financial security, it demands emotional maturity, clear communication, and mutual respect. Yet, as more people focus on the aesthetics of a wedding rather than the substance of a marriage, relationships are becoming increasingly fragile. This shift has left many unprepared for the inevitable challenges, resulting in more couples choosing separation as a solution.
As Nigeria’s social landscape evolves, so must the mindset surrounding marriage. While societal expectations and pressures once held marriages together, today’s couples need stronger personal foundations to maintain lasting relationships. Divorce may continue to rise as a reflection of changing times, but addressing the root causes whether through better understanding, clearer expectations, or genuine commitment could pave the way for healthier, more resilient marriages in the future.
In a world where grand gestures and public displays often overshadow private, enduring commitments, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the true meaning of marriage and the qualities that keep it strong.
